Misbehaving?

I woke up at around 3pm and i got online. Robbie went for PC fair, so i used his computer, cause it's obviously better than my shitty laptop. (and yes im using it right now.) My friend asked me to go Penang Jazz Festival, and heck yeah I went, I was so looking forward to that before she even asked. I went there, got the tickets, it was like fucking RM53 per ticket. *faints*

*wakes* anyway, I met Jaime there. who else, well i think i saw that friend of mine who i only knew for about 2 weeks, but i'm not really that sure if that's him. i had haagen daz ice cream, macadamia flavour, it was so heavenly, yummy~

& how did i get back from jazz fest? Let's just say my friend fetched me back, had dinner in some place, and got home,now. yes. the end.

xoxo

Love. Love. Love.

Love is stronger than hate but possibly weaker than wealth and fame. Love. Once you're in, it's hard to get out. A drug? It's possible. A good thing? It's also possible. Dangerous & risky? Absolutely.Love. If not expressed, it causes stress. It take guts show someone you love them. Love. With jealousy as a neighbour. Love. Needed always by everyone. Love. Leads a way to harmony and another to sadness. Love. The strongest feeling. Love. Unforgettable. Love. A needed daily dose. Love. Needs to be treasured. Love. Will fade without trust, confident, care, honesty, loyalty, and everything related. Love. Something so serene but could turn dark. Love. Unpredictable and the nicest gift ever. Love. So many definitions, from so many minds. Love. Love. Love.

xoxo

Time Machine Much?

Back in 2004.

(What I missed most) Location - Salzburg & Vienna, Austria.
One of the best vacation ever. On first thought, everyone might have thought, like. . . that's a very, super boring place, so serene and quiet, but spending time with the right people, even at lame places, doing lame stuff, it's awesome, i guess?

2005.

There was nothing I specifically remembered/missed.

2006.

=) private and confidential. Though just a crush.

2007.

=( private and confidential. Though loads of stuff happened.

2008.

Just very normal, quite boring. I guess, as far as I know.

xoxo

Malay Writings...

"Pertamanya, ku nak kau menungguku, tapi mu tidak membuat begitu. Hari ni, ku pertama nampak perempuan tu, kekasihmu. Ku dah biasa rasa begini. Ku lagi rindumu, sikit saja, tapi tentulah rasa ni akan hapus, saja perlu masa sedikit. Mungkin aku dah buat salah, ku ingat mu akan menunggu ku, tapi tu dah lama. Skrang masa dan orang dah tukar, tak perlulah lagi ingat."

P.S. - Just some random things... That came outta my mind today.

xoxo

Just Another Thing

I love Ferrero Rondnoir. It's like Ferrero Rocher but less sweet & more ideal. It tastes better too. It's dark chocolate. & I'm addicted.

xoxo

Anti - Friendster

I canceled my friendster account today. Kinda hate it. & it's filled with 'lalas' and 'tukaos & ah bengs'. Definitely not an ideal virtual social meet up place. & yes I'm using Facebook now. I have lots of insults over 'lalas' and 'male lalas' but just too lazy to type it out.

p.s. - only add who you know & who you want to know. not just because you want to have extra friend counts & compete the so called ' who has more friends' kinda thing.

xoxo

Messed Up Words

Dad says I'm good for nothing,
Mom says I'm immature,
School just ain't my kinda thing,
That's just my unique nature,
I hate to be here,
It's like I'm stuck forever,
No way dear,
Just let it be, NEVER,
I have my objectives,
I ain't giving 'em up,
I might not have any motives,
But I ain't gonna shut up,
People and personality varies,
Music and art I desire,
Read everyone's diaries,
& eventually burn them in fire.

(I reckon the last parts does not have any meanings)

xoxo

What A Day

3rd dec 08. I went to gurney.. spent my whole day there, and had toffee nut frappucino from starbucks and belgian choc from coffee beans, yumm.. Walked around new wing, umm... gossiped. It was boring though, me & my friends managed to stay there for hours!... When I came back home, i had surprise call! It was Sheikh Mohammed Badjenid! My elementary classmate! He difined me as "the shortest in class one!" . *sighs* At least it was better than how he defined Sammy , "4 eyes!". Chatted for a while, he adopted more Malay ish slang. Probably getting an elementary class reunion! Anyways it's needed! It has been long!!... I miss old times in elementary school... =( Everything seemed so simple...

p.s. - I wish dude 97 wouldn't just waste his life having fun. Hah! Whatevers. Just saying. People these days... They have cash, they are at the right age, but they aren't ambitious! WHY! They are losing chances minute by minute... Well... It's not my life, so I'd just shut up, but if it was, I'd do so many things already.

xoxo

RACISM

Don't ever, ever be a racist! I dislike racists... They are just senseless, they don't make any sense. It's about every individual! You can't base hate on what their race is!... There are hot people in every races! There are kind people in every race! And negativity too! Gosh... BUT I have a confession... Most Iraq people are stupid. & THATS FROM EXPERIENCE! NOT JUST A THOUGHT! Racism are base on stupid thoughts & assumptions!!

xoxo

Tuesday . Not Wasted .

Okay... This is gonna sound weird but well.. Ummm.. I didn't sleep the whole night until... 3pm. Anyways rewind a little bit, i took a shower at 8am. I came out in a towel and walked to the living room to get a drink, i mean c'mon no one was awake and dad was out already. But mom came out! And she was like, let's go have breakfast in coffee beans, island plaza. So since i can't actually sleep, i was like okay. Turned out, i get to go shopping after breakfast! Yay. I bought some Rimmel and MAC cosmetics. Rimmel is cheap! & it's nice to use, the best part? It's made is UK! Not China, i'm kinda scared of China products, no saying China is bad or anything, but yeah, the products aren't worth the risk. Sis kinda dragged me to her shop for manicure, so yeah, and I got dark turquoise *wrong spelling i think* . Then she gave me some of her cosmetics! Bright orange & blue ~ So yeah... That's all i think, and i slept at 3pm , waking up at 9pm.

xoxo

Tuesday Morning

(somehow reminds me of michelle branch - tuesday morning *a song*)

i'm still ain't sleepy. that's awkward, but it has been going on for quite something, and waking up at 9pm, it just gets worse and worse doesn't it?... what am i suppose to do? take sleeping pills? or should i just bear with it? but what if i get a job? and i can't wake up? that's just lame.. i don't know what to think of. at least i don't hang on my past and get depressed. but i'm emotionless, is that good, i wonder. well. i'm blank.

song playing - taylor swift - love story *addictive*

xoxo

LOVE

what the fuck does that mean? i thought i knew, well i don't. though i know crushes, flings. but what the fuck is love? whatever that means, i don't know. i know it has four letters. urh.. that's all. probably previous stuff broke my definition of love. so it means... love is not just a thing right? oh yes, it has a million definitions? hmmm. it's obviously complicating.

xoxo

Untitled

I like this song called Afterlife by Avenged Sevenfold. =\ It's just too nice...

xoxo

Fool

The title explains it all.

p.s. - I think i'm gonna get a job! ;) 90% chance. though there's like 10% i might not :(

xoxo

Dreaming / Fantasizing ?

WARNING - This is fictitious. A fantasy. Something I imagined.

Sometimes i imagine myself as an author, absurd isn't it? Well, it's just imaginations. Or perhaps an illustrator, that's something to do with illustrations right, as in like drawings, probably comics, and stuff like that. And well living in a NYC apartment, Lower East Side. Yes, Lower East Side, where they have music, art and other things that collides. Well, as my imagination flows, let's just say, I don't have much inspirations, and Tompkins Park (I hope the spellings are correct), the place where skateboarders do their thing, well and I go there, almost everyday, to gain some inspirations. They will have their boards with scratches, or girl friends, hanging out with their friends at the corner, on the bench. Back to the apartment thing, well, mine is just the average type, an average sized studio, where I have things scattered everywhere, most likely, and clothes on the bed, a big bed with white sheets, and lots of pillows in different sizes. White walls, and dark chesnut brown, wood floorings. It has this pretty chandelier in the middle of the room, it's not like those big ones, just quite average, but not too much crystals and all that, a bit rosy in color, and clear crystals, just a couple of them, and gold surrounding it, and you know, not to cliche, but pretty victorian in a way. In the studio, there is two beds, one is like a mini one, not that mini but you know, single bed kind of thing. It has grey sheets, a very big and puffy white pillow with peachy pink laces. The bed is by the a very big window. Like those big ones you see in the typical manhattan buildings, apartments. The bed is not entirely attached to the side wall, in between the bed and the wall, there is a wooden block, something like a table, but not really, though it has big drawers. It doesn't cover the window, just right at the bottom of the window, i mean the height of the wooden block. So that's almost all i have to say about my studio, room, or whatever you call it, it's not like my art or working studio, it's more like a place I stay in, you know like, sleep and stuff, but of course i do my art works and all that there too, because I'm not a successful or rich person, I don't own an art studio, but I have my little gallery in the upper side, well not too up, but like few blocks away from Times Square. Well, I'm an uninspired, young, 18 year old artist, author, illustrator, whatever, who doesn't know what I'm suppose to do, well, how do i say it, someone who haven't find the right path, the right job, and still searching, and all i know that it's related to art. Why did i ever land myself in NYC you may ask, I was inspired by a few admirable, talented and successful young people, like Alexander Wang, Erin Wasson, Marc Jacobs, and all that. I know that they are fashion designers, but I don't have the confidence to walk that road, to become a fashion designer, because since young, when my older brother insisted that I become one, I still remember that day, before I had time to reply him, my mother interrupted and objected the whole thing, saying that I can never be one, I am not trendy enough, I don't have that kind of potential and all that. I just kept silent and walked away, assuming nothing happen, though in my mind, I was having this weird feeling, thinking, was i suppose to feel furious or depressed? I didn't know and still don't. Back to the NYC thing. My job is partly an artist. I distribute my art in my little gallery, the pieces are quite affordable not more than $300 a piece, and I'm partly a novelist, or author, just whatever, I write these little novels, about crime, psychological thrills, teenage, romance, and something like that. In the morning, I work in a magazine company, not the high positions, a little lower than average i shall say, or even just average, not more. I work from 9am to 4pm. Then I'll go to my little gallery and stay for 2 hours. It's a very small gallery, and I don't need anyone, like any worker to help in the counter. When I'm not there, clients can purchase the pieces, through email or phone, you know like, inform me and stuff, because the walls are all glass, so they could glance through every pieces of art in there clearly because, like I've said, it's a very small gallery. There's alarms attatched too, because glass is fragile, so, it's easy to break in, and to avoid any of these problems, i let the alarms do their thing. As for my books, novels, they are not doing super awesome, just average. It's available in 20 stores in America, 2 stores in Malaysia and 2 in Australia, though there's online purchasing too. Usually they are more of a teenager's liking, compared to adults, or shall i say, middle aged citizens, around the age of 35 and above. Probably I'm just too ambitious, too imaginary, to think of something so over my league. And again, in reality, I'm not even a U.S. citizen, so... I can't possible accomplish much of the above, unless, I study in the States for 4 years, and another 4 years of work, I think that's how it goes, and heck yeah that's a lot of years, a total of 8 years. Minimum, I'll be 26, and that's a bit too old I think. I don't know, back to reality and bye to fantasy. I'm going to stop right now, too much imaginations.

xoxo

December

It's December... Yay?... Whee... *sarcasm* What can I say? I need shoppings? I need my personalised starbuck drink? (caramel machiatto without syrup , extra espresso shot, extra caramel drizzle) Or perhaps I want a new laptop? (macbook 13inch newest) Maybe a new ipod? Well... I don't know... Is it lust? Or is it... Hmmm.... What else can I think of... No idea.. Shopping is a big word though...I mean it relates everything, the desire to buy cosmetics, clothing, shoes, and every other things. Ok honestly, I love vintage tee shirts that looks old? I mean, and those grunge looks, like the acid washed jeans and all that... And yes, a pair of converse... Benefit Cosmetics, ummm.. Bobbi Brown Cosmetics, umm.. what else... Rimmel Cosmetics... Tigi Bedhead hair products? No, I'm not so obsessed over tigi products anymore actually.. Hmmm.. A new school bag perhaps? But the ones in Malaysia are so typical, and i hate too much duplication, i hope i could get like the online store type since there's no way I can go to NY this soon... Australia? Well, mom's definitely want to go, but it's getting bored since we've been there a couple times already... Thailand? I dislike the place... I mean Bangkok's okay, but I don't know, the language? No... Umm.. It's just like the stuck in the between kinda place, not modern enough, not city like, and not too laid back, so I kinda hate these place... Japan? Dad was considering, but I guess, we all didn't bring up the topic again, so he assume we didn't wanna go or something like that... Hmmm.. What else.. Well.. I want a job... And cash, definitely...But before you get the cash, you need a job, so yeah i want a job... (My options are... Ingolf something something *german restaurant*, and... Starbucks *but they want full timers only, shit*, umm.. BBQ Chicken *gurney, working in gurney is uncool, cause it's 85% chance of meeting friends, friends and work don't match...* , what other options.. hmmm.. nevermind, i'll just check on more vacancies... hopefully i get a good one..*

Christmas is coming, who should I exchange/give presents with/to? Still thinking about that... Probably some of my friends, and hmmm.. sis? But, when it comes to my sis, i gotta pick something more pricy, which is pretty complicating... Anyways in case she wanna exchange pressies, then i'll think about it...

xoxo

Imbroglio? *Yes it's English*

So perplexed & complicated. I really don't know. =\


days pass with nothing worthwhile
i guess i've gotta wait for a little while
cigarettes and liquor are dull
excitement and pleasures, null
heart's unoccupied
love's emptied
neither am i broken
nor mistaken
crashing into an oblivion
turning in a deviant?
that's impossible
but anything's possible
this is just some dumb writings
with sweet nothings

xoxo

Awake

Yes i know it's 7 in the morning, the birds are chriping, the sun is rising, or well, the sun had rose, and... i'm still awake, it's not like i want to, i can't sleep, i dont know why, i try all sorts, like, playing some games in my phone and pet society in facebook, i still can't sleep, i even read some cooking books, and still... i can't sleep, i guess i'll just have to wait.

p.s. - this is insane! =O (what i've written sounds strange, but not, because i sleep at 4am and wakes up in the afternoon, but this is... just weird, it's morning already, sort of)

xoxo

Strange-ness?

Well, I thought that i could like, just type out what i'm thinking so, yeah it's what I'm doing right now. I'm liking this band called 'melody fall' which is not like an english/american band, i think it's italian or spanish, *oops* i don't understand what they're rocking about but the rhythm or something is really nice. Music eases the mind, i think. Does it really matter if I'm not hooked to anyone? I mean, i see my best friends hanging out with their bfs and like... i don't know, it's like they're telling me i should get a boyfriend or something, but just you know, no matter how hot or cool that person it, if i don't have that kinda feeling, it just doesn't work, unlike some. i mean flings are... okay, i mean it's a way to get to know someone better? i don't know but, it's like no matter how perfect someone is, their flaws reveals eventually, and you know, some... are just fucked ups. so... yeah, i guess i'm not the 'anything goes' kinda person, so it's no surprise i'm still single for like... 2 months? 3 months? i don't count the days, so...about that long.

Next thing, i have natural curls/wave, and it's like divulging/revealing, and you know what, since it's still the holidays, why not just bear with it and you know, do a little temporary curls with the iron rollers thingy or whatever its called, and just go with it, blend it in. rather than getting chemicalized *i don't think that word exist*.

I miss baking... More like i miss my oven, i need an oven! the old one is a bit retarded. i mean shall i call it half spoiled? anyways it's called "i don't want it no more". cause a shitty oven's gonna produce shitty stuff. so yeah... i want a new oven... i miss making cookies, cupcakes, and every other stuff...

p.s. - i'm gonna stop a while, relating the "Zombies & A Pair of Blue Eyes", cause what's the point writing when i'm reading another book? Wouldn't it be like stealing ideas? well no, but something like copying or somethin, anyways it will just spoil the whole thing. so yeah.

*closes webpage*

xoxo

Speechless

Let's see.. I'm bored, so I'm going to write down whatever... Umm..Let me see what i did this week... Hmm... I got a new phone!! yes i said it lots of times, though its cheap, it cute and i like it, and i dont care what others think =) umm.. next.. how should i say it... well, i befriended someone? is that the right word? i hope it is .. ummm.. yeah, and what else did i do... oh yes, i read this book called "grostesque" which means monster, and it's actually a japanese novel but they kind of translated it, so yay for me, that i can read it? i think. i'm just half way finished... oh yes, i think i need to improve on my social skills? and... i don't know... gahhh whatever. i'm just bored.. i'd probably get back to writing "Zombie & A Pair of Blue Eyes" in my other blog... It's kinda stupid, & has lots of grammar errors, but you know, it's not like anyone reads it, so it's ok =D *i guess*

xoxo

It's Scary.

It's almost december, and i've not done anything regarding the nyc stuff. It's rather scary... It's like hopes are vanishing, slowly. what should i do? i really don't know... For the pass few days, it was all about fun and stuff... No, that's just not the right path...I'm scared...

xoxo

Twilight & a nicely spent thurday

I got my new phone =P blue lg ks 360 . & i watched twilight with friends. bought a book in mph bookstore. um, had nandos for brunch, and "the ultimate" drink from coffee beans, & had thai dinner . umm.. can't stop listening to robert pattinson's song called 'lullaby'. its so , um, relaxing? =D

xoxo

Confused & Tired

There's no rents available in nyc that's suitable for me or appropriate.. At least as far as i've "researched"..

Gotta go to the dentist later.. And get a new phone i think and dvds.. gonna rot on movies.. i guess.. for a while.. and got 100 bucks added to my savings.. got it from my dad's friend for my upcoming birthday, and i've decided to just hang out with parents on my birthday... and im waiting for the right time to ask dad for the 13inch macbook.. if possible..

xoxo

I Don't Know

Today.. Kind of made me realize that if you try harder and harder (not in the kinky way though..*laughs*) you can achieve what you want, something like that, i mean if you go the right way, some sort, i give really confusing explanations. Well the thing is.. I wanted to watch the video, of alexander wang and him being the winner of some fashion fund thingy, something like that. I tried a few times, like hours ago, and it couldn't work, i tried again and again just now, and it managed to work, and yeah i got to watch it, it's so cool, i mean, it's like magic, i was about to give up trying to make it work, the video just played, and i was like , awesome!

Oh gawsh, i've to go to the dentist tomorrow.. Damn, it's scary, thrilling, i don't know. But still, i've to go.. I think.. Cause i've got this one little, or not so little i don't know , cavity. I wouldn't wanna lose my tooth, so yeah..though like, honestly and seriously it freaks me out, like those little needles + screws mutated shit , like a whole damn box/collection of them, placed in front of me, and the dentist using it on my pitiful tooth! and like the machines, the thingy, like the scary sounds, oohh.. it just scares me even just to think about it...

About the nyc thing.. i'm really confused, thinking that, me using up all my savings and more, and i don't know.. i really don't wanna give up on it, i mean i've set it as my objective and stuff.. the rental of rooms and stuff is also a problem.. i just don't know, well.. i'll think of it probably next week.. and yeah after my birthday, oh my, it's 4 days away..

I don't know what to do on my birthday.. It's pretty freaky.. I was thinking of movies then dinner at my place, but.. i don't know.. oh well.. probably i should just go to eat japanese food with family? like the traditional, kiddy way? i don't know!!.. =/ anyways nyc is more important than my 15th birthday i guess.. so gotta like think more of nyc rather than birthday celebration..

xoxo & confusions

Are Horoscopes True?

After years of following the horoscope thing, i think i should stop. I kind of wasted my day today because the horoscope thingy said that i should stay away from the "authorities" shit like that, and people who can control you, parents such, and you know, i actually had a few conversations with my mom, and it was pretty okay. Like they said, never let the little things get it your way. =)

xoxo

So Sick & Tired

Why is it so hard...! Its making me wanna give up.. but no.. I'm not gonna give up. well, to be honest i like moderate challenges, just not that extreme!.. US dollars going up every minute, hour , day, why the fuck?!.. 0.1 might not appear as much difference but when it comes to like thousands of cash, it matters and differs a lot!!.. Got an option though, well its not like it'll help a lot.. but yeah, work part time illegally.. gawshhh.. i'd do anything for new york huh.. =/

xoxo

In the Phase of Depression

I'm fucking poor. I'm fucking broke, cashless, whatever you call it. Yes, it's true, and that's not helping me on getting what I need, well want, too. So.. i got so emotionally sick, i made this...


i need bling and money,
i don't need no honey,
it's all about the dope,
the base of gaining hope,
i want that stylish NYC,
with peeps covered with MAC,
but i aint got no cash,
and i aint want no pash,
i need those green paper,
so mate see ya later.


xoxo

Kids Don't Stand A Chance.

When i'm about to get what i want, i tend to throw it all away, which is pretty weird. Anyway, the thing is, after all the fucking loads of emails i sent, a super duper kind 23yr old lady replied and say that she'll reserve the room for me, but as I'm a really superfucking honest person, i sorta replied her, telling her my age and stuff, well, cause she was like telling me bout the deposit, documents, blah blah "as if i understand" official stuffs. i'm looking forward for a positive and exceptional answer from her, yeah. there's like only 50 % chance though, who would wanna rent a room to a stupidfucking 15 yr old? they usually go like.. "you're too young, oops." in an indirect manner. well.. fingers crossed.

xoxo

Frustration

It's so hard to find hostels, they won't accommodate anyone below the age of 18. How hateful, huh? I sent so much emails it still doesn't work out. Well... You know what? I'm just gonna try a little bit harder, and see if there's any light at the end of this black hole, trying is definitely no harm, but sometimes, it can be pretty much a waste of time..

xoxo

NYC on my mind

Let's see.. My mind's filled with nothing but Parson's, East Village, Alexander Wang, um.. and the need of cash, and the big apple aka NYC aka NEW YORK CITY. Nothing else seems to stay long enough in my mind currently, i mean besides all that I've mentioned. I haven't really got the cash, just almost like, half of it, but mom's kind of like sponsoring some, so that's kinda nice of her *surprisingly. When the time comes, I'm gonna ask dad to sponsor the airplane tickets, and hopefully part of the rental fees. AND THE FACT THAT THE US DOLLAR become some how more "valuable" as in the currency is like 1 US dollar : RM 3.6 . , makes me so frustrated! It's like, in a marathon, you see the finishing line!!!! and then!! some fag!! change the finishing line wayyyy.. further!!... BUT. I'm not gonna give up like this. I've set my goal, time to achieve it, whether my results turn up to be failure or success, the process of it makes it all worth while, but i personally, definitely wants SUCCESS, who doesn't want that? Nobody, so that makes my point.

P.S. - whatever "you" do won't make me suffer the state of being "emotionally broken down" or stuff like that, because I have objectives and that's all I will ever think of right now, so sorry if you tried to like.. make me feel shitty or stuff cause you definitely failed. =)

XOXO

New York I Love You !

I printed out the parsons thing catalog, couldn't wait for it to get mailed over , though that would be nicer, but what i need is the facts, though i think the original forms are included in the catalog that they are about to send over to my place, right at my doorsteps. Doing is the opposite of hoping/wishing, i contacted the person by email and they added my address in their mailing list. Now ,basically all I need is the cash, and i think visa or something like that. The campus housing is oh so fucking expensive! holyshit, if only i had a friend to accompany me to take this course thingy, then we could share the rental cost/fees and it'll be waaaayyy.. cheaper. i hate the fact that the campus housing has like.. these weird curfews.. ugghh.. anyway too much of imaginations, all i gotta do now is get a fucking job, so i could get some fucking dope, then i'll be able to go NY.

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life
Can't get no love without sacrifice
If anything should happen, I guess I wish you well
A little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell

This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I'm wastin'
And I'm wastin' everyday

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

2 o'clock in the morning, something's on my mind
Can't get no rest; keep walkin' around
If I pretend that nothin' ever went wrong, I can get to my sleep
I can think that we just carried on

This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I'm wastin'
And I'm wastin' everyday

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

A Little bit of love, little bit of love
Little bit of love, little bit of love [repeat]

I feel as if I'm wastin'
And I'm wastin' everyday

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
To live the rest of our life,
But not together.



( i find this song interesting , not sad-ish. )

MONEY CASH DIAMONDS GOLD whatever that cost a lot.

I wanna be in New York, even though if I could go right now, it will be totally pointless, I don't have cash, probably just the tickets. I need cash, money, whatever. Seriously, I'll do whatever to get them. Like.. seriously, anything. Alexander Wang's inspired me of going to New York. I'd admit i really want to meet him but my main objective is to experience the arts and whatever I can get, and of course the summer course, and the park which i kinda forget what park it is again , oops. IF is a pointless word, over using of IF s will get just bring me to no where, and yea, just sitting at home dreaming. I have to think of a job.. I'm just fucking fourteen, I wish people will not underestimate the matters of age, its just a number, no wait i shouldn't say people, i should say the country I'm living in now? giving teens no hopes or shall i say, nothing at all. no fucking summer jobs to fucking earn fucking dope. it's like, they don't fucking care, that is why there's crime, drug related shit, rape and all sorts, cause people here has fucking nothing to do, and that's relating to poor peeps like me, rich kids can hang around wasting themselves and cash all day long because they can! but poor kids are ignored? what the fuck? give us some jobs ! gosh. and your fucking part time jobs are like 4 bucks per hour for like.. 16 and above? what the fuck?? 4 fucking bucks only?? in ringgit??! at least the average in Singapore is like 6 Singaporean dollars per hour!!.. gosh.. and did i mention that you get 8 Aussie dollars in Aussie?? what the fuck ? four fucking ringgit??... That gives me more determination to go to NY, so yeah, thanks for your fucking treatments!..

p.s. - I'm just saying facts. "they" are not giving us peeps chances.

DREAMS. PLEASE become my REALITY.

I have an ambition. No, I have ambitions. Probably I'm too ambitious but that's just me, I guess. Examples, I want to take courses in Newyork, but, I guess my parents won't give me the permission and money. Most of the courses , the problems are either because of me being underage or either it being too overpriced. Yes, I'm not those rich kiddos. I'm just less than ordinary kid trying to live life in a more experiencing way, not just wasting the days away, or even wasting themselves at night. I guess, I'm plain boring, but probably I'm just different, just a little bit different . I want to accomplish things, because I feel useless. I want to experience things and not just seeing people experiencing them.

_______________________________________________________________

i.

http://www.parsons.edu/pre_enrollment/summer_ny.aspx

Yes. Like the url above, a summer course/program indeed. But you know what? I'm underage. I'll check back in next year and yeah, if im 15+ and im still not qualified, i'll check back in 2011, hopefully i'll still be available. & PARSONS? That's gotta be like.. One of my dream place to go right after college but if possible, high school.

_______________________________________________________________

ii. (to be continued)



*sighs. sighing for? being poor? being not beautiful? being kinda dumb? being loveless? being funless? well.. sighs for being useless actually.. i have to do something bout my life. teen age = boys & party? noway. its more than that, its way much more than that, and thats actually not it, the real thing is, time for planning. finding your way to your future career. and i believe mine has got something to do with art.. anyways.


xoxo

Im So Over That Phase

It's sickening bored stuck at home. Hopefully tomorrow wouldn't be bored,
as that isn't what i would expect, but i don't do predictions so, will see
then. Beach, friends, drinks, that goes my saturday then. My birthday's coming
and I'm not excited. I was few years back. Since recently i never been. I actually forget that my birthday was near until suelyn mentioned hers on facebook.
Birthday by the beach perhaps??.. I don't know really.. Ahh, gay, before my birthday, i've to go to the dentist again...

Spillage

Lady GaGa- Eh Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say) [music playing at the moment]

Okay I wasn't soooooo... honest. This is like the, surrender & i suck, i'm shit, im all that fuck version.


You're a loser, but you're stuck on my mind, which actually sucks & which makes me a bigger loser. Tearing my heart apart til veins and capillaries tangles up and froze in silence is probably you're main intention, and yeah! heck yeah you accomplished. you're probably the most unforgettable lad i've ever date, but though i you know, urm, you just know it ok, i *fill in the blanks* you, but i've never thought of ever dating you again, but whenever you date someone (usually when they're not that hot), i don't feel so good.. well WHATEVER, the word you hate most.

Forget Not Regret

it's time to forget
the one that i once adore
you've found your little pet
with all that petty fame (definitely not pretty fame)
i've known since the beginning
and this is not a game
so you're totally not winning
you're just plain lame now
wearing the pants doesn't make you cool
but neither a silly cow
though indeed an awkward fool
i'll admit i fell into that trap
of you sweet little talk
but what's behind are all crap
like the fictitious jack and the bean stalk (meaning fantasy)

- elizabeth bennet <3









Hah, it seems like my predictions were right all along. There was a bitch behind the scenes of your little sweet flirtatious words. That is so gay. I hate to be lied to! Fuck you bastard. Yes, i wished you could read this, but that'll be just odd. You tell your fucking friends that I make no sense to you ( & they helped you by presenting you a bitch [i didn't know people who do these shit are called friends] ) but you are fucking dense, you actually widget-fy me and your fucking little pet, & you tell me to make a decision to keep you or not, and when i gave you an answer between the lines, you deleted me from your little widgety screen. How fucking retarded is that?? And fuck yeah, I totally knew you had this kinda lame thing on your mind, which is one of my fucking intelligent reason to not ever, ever, hook up with you! Ewh! The thought of you totally make me sick! You're a cavity! I have my panadols (little shags that kills boredom!), now all I need is a toothbrush?? Whatever. You can fucking shag whoever you fucking want, cause honestly, I don't care at all! You're so fucking gay!! Ewwhhhhh!! Feelings are not for playing, if thats what you and your little brainless whores refer to! There's no good thing about you! Like, first of all you suck, second, you suck even more, third you're like a fucking asshole dipped into shit!! Or whatever! Ewwh! You make my eye sore when I look at you, and i get migranes when my brain thinks like, "oh em gee, its you!" !! My fucking point is that I really really FUCKING HATE YOU!! Urghh!! You totally, absolutely make me sick!! I am totally OUT OF WORDS!

FUCK YOU.

Thoughts of mine

you're a joke that's not funny
you're coffee that taste sour
you're panadols that expired
you're vodka that feels like water
you're sex that feels like anesthetic was taken

you're full of lies that blind some minds but mine ain't one of them
you're just a fucked up who's like ass but a whore magnet

yeah. you suck.

I FUCKING HATE YOU.

CLANDESTINE

Toothache

current music playlist ;)

- skye sweetnam - i don't really like you
- lady gaga - 'eh,eh' nothing else i can say
- miley cyrus - 7 things
- jonas brothers - lovebug
- hayden panettiere - your new girlfriend

("gahhh.. whatevers!")







you left me speechless*

xoxo

Imma back.

Back from KL a few hours ago.
Guess you already know that I rotted myself in KL last weekend.


LADY GAGA - i like it rough

Your love is nothing I can't fight
Can't sleep with the man
Who dims my shine

I'm in the bedroom with tissues and when-
I know you're outside banging but I won't let you in
'Cause it's a hard life, with love in the world
And now my hard girl lovin' is like chewing on pearls

You got me wondering why I
I like it rough, I-I like it rough, I-I like it rough
You got me wondering why I
I like it rough, I-I like it rough, I-I like it rough

Won't go without my fix tonight
It's a little too rough
Prom girl wipes her tears with silver lines
And she can't get enough

I'm in the bedroom with tissues and when-
I know you're outside banging but I won't let you in
'Cause it's a hard life, with love in the world
And now my hard girl lovin' is like straightening curls

You got me wondering why I
I like it rough, I-I like it rough, I-I like it rough
You got me wondering why I
I like it rough, I-I like it rough, I-I like it rough

Shiny and I know it
Don't know why you wanna blow it
Need a man who likes it rough
Likes it rough, likes it rough


Shiny and I know it
Don't know why you wanna blow it
Need a man who likes it rough
Likes it rough, likes it rough


Is it 'cause you don't mean it?
Or because I don't feel it?
Yes it's rough
Is it 'cause you don't mean it?
Or because I don't feel it?
Yes it's rough


You got me wondering why I
I like it rough, I-I like it rough, I-I like it rough
You got me wondering why I
I like it rough, I-I like it rough, I-I like it rough

You got me wondering why I
I like it rough, I-I like it rough, I-I like it rough
You got me wondering why I
I like it rough, I-I like it rough, I-I like it rough


Anyways..

that emofag didn't reply my email. what was that about??!
i was curious til' i suffered from disappointed.

p.s. - i still likey. so. imma gonna have to wait a lil while longer, if it doesn't works,then i guess it's gonna be change of plans. though, i dont plan on wasting my time trying, i'll see how it goes.

xoxo

Sudden Change.

This morning, I thought everything was okay until...

Dad came in my room and shut the airconditioner. I asked him nicely to turn it back on. He walked right out and totally ignored me. I screamed under my blanket and broke into tears. Because I got totally annoyed of him since yesterday. Mom came in and ask what's up, I told her I hate dad, he's not my dad. She went speechless for a moment, and she fucking sided him, she said that he's a bit not himself at the moment because he has some financial issues with some stuff. I can't believe even he fell into the world money crisis shit that everyone's talking about. Fuck all that, he fucking ruin my day, and upcoming days. & nevertheless, why the fuck does he get to go emo and make my day shitty??!

Little Somethings.

"If everything was everything but everything is overEverything could be everything if only we were olderGuess its just a silly song about youAnd how I lost youAnd your brown eyesIn ur brwn eyesI was feelin lowCause the brown eyesAnd you never knowGot some brown eyesBut a soft faceI knew that it was wrongSo baby..turn the record onPlay that song" Lady Gaga.


I'm left speechless and thoughtless,
Are you going to treat me like this,
I'm human and I felt the emptyness,
I'm not a mannequin not a tease,
Six a.m. the clock shows,
What are you doing,
Are you watching tv shows,
Or maybe sleeping peacefully snoring,
That's kinda cute,
But it's waste I can't see that,
I'm not really mute,
And I'm not all that,
I keep my feelings unsaid,
I keep them a secret,
The memories never did fade,
Though I lost the locket,
I stay awake thinking,
If you'd forgive what I did and not do,
But that's too much I have to say,
For I lost my rhyme in this.

a totally messed up writing.

Song playing now - Lady Gaga - Nothing else I can say



24 more days to my birthday. Hate it. I hate my birthday =( It's never been really good, then best was last year . 6th november's my dad's birthday, i don't know what he'd want =( and i'll totally cashless these days...

Okay, so the thing is, I sent a really long and complicated email to dude 97 . I'm not sure if what I did was right? But do I look like I care? Well yeah, I look like I fucking care. Well, now i'll have to wait...

LOVE OR LUST? LOVE OR LUST? LOVE OR LUST? LOVE OR LUST? LOVE OR LUST? LOVE OR LUST? LOVE OR LUST? LOVE OR LUST? LOVE OR LUST? LOVE OR LUST? LOVE OR LUST? LOVE OR LUST? LOVE OR LUST? LOVE OR LUST? LOVE OR LUST? LOVE OR LUST? LOVE OR LUST? LOVE OR LUST? LOVE OR LUST? LOVE OR LUST? LOVE OR LUST? LOVE OR LUST? !!!

Previously, lust . Addictive, absolutely. Now? I'm gonna have to give a little trust and a lotta love . Who else am I doing this for huh? I don't even know if it's worth it. I'd take a risk, even though it becomes a mistake, the part of picking up the broken pieces is worth an adventure.

P.S. - If you can't get what you want, never give up, at least mess a little with it.


xoxo . little bits.

thoughts of nothings

shit 1.

is it possible that history repeats itself??.. and is it possible to ditch that specific history??..
well.. hate <<>

shit 2.

simple little flirtatious words of lies might be blinded by another and reacts as feelings ; adoration . thats complete shit, a crime literally and socially .

NOTE :

*some text missing . =/

xoxo

LMAO!

HS = not a bestfriend anymore. yeeahh...

p.s. - hahaha.. which is funny.. yeah... i think i hate him.. in some way without any reasons

legally hanging out .

i hanged out with my bestfriend HS . =D
and of course Lene & others.

enough said. tee-hee.

got nothing else to write about. not much thoughts.
lost my simcard! and left my skateboard in HS's car . damn. hahaha.

p.s. - well contented. i think?

XOXO

monday blues

3.15am

whoa. sha came over in the morning while i was asleep. she woke me up anyways. she went away in a minute. anyways by summarizing the story, she got away with a dirty little act. *rolls eyes.
i called in sick for kh class. oh gawd. thats because i slept at 4 sumthing. however i felt the guilt.
nothing much to say today.

p.s. - hopefully the hols would be interesting. as far as i know. tomorrow's the day i've gotta finish all the shitty chores. urgghh..

(a huge huge one) XOXO

7.06pm

fucking bored. stuck at home. fucking chores. still undone.

things i've never tried but wanna try . ?

- go to the skatepark late night. like really late.

- go on a roadtrip

- and some others i cudnt think of right now. .

no more xoxos . hate my mood now.

changing times

he's my best friend but was my ex boyfriend. but a best friend is who he should actually be, and always meant to be. haha. see changing parts wasnt so bad. sometimes you just gotta take a risk cause its worth it.
went to gurney today. cleared my thoughts after a half and hour drive with unknown loud music. pretty awesome. but im nervous about tomorrow!! gonna meet some new peeps and some old peeps. but. gawd. i wish im admitted to the hospital so i dont needa go, im way to excited.

p.s. - cultures varies? i dont think so. more of people & personality varies.

xoxo

finally something sane.

12.49am.

*laughs sinfully. finally. finally something that feels like me. so the thing was. i asked my exboyfriend out. wow. so lame ish. and then. before that some weird rich brat asked me out. i thought my saturday would be ruined by him. butbutbut!!!... woohoo *flings bra virtually reaction. my ex boyfriend accepted my invitation. wallah! i hope he makes my saturday less lame. been stuck in the house for whole 5 damned days already. needa go out!!.. its so fucking bored!.. oh yeah. feeling ecstatic. hopefully it wudnt be a lame saturday. hopefully!!.. haha.

p.s. - i hope he's not hooked. or else i'd be going emo for being a bitch later on!!.. but he didnt mention so im not making a crime.

since ages i've blogged.

"when the night come. we can stay in bed. what can be talked about and its better left unsaid" (another of my puzzle piece)

im gonna write about the months that werent written down.

beginning of september. this girl accidently ditched this guy whom she assumed didn't did anything to her that wud've broken her heart. so anyways. she got into skateboarding. and then she met this dude. well actually dudes. but lets just start with dude number one. he was all nice and shit at the beginning but. in the end, he's just plain boring and shit, and likes to make a lot of assumptions when he doesnt know anything. and lets just say he's also annoying.
chapter 2. then the other guy's a clandestine. ok so skip this chapter.
chapter 3. ditched the guy number one. and thinking back about the ex boyfriend, that's just so lame of her. yeah. she's some stupid freak who has so many junk up her head. but she thinks probably the ex boyfriend's already hooking up with someone else. now.. she's thinking of going out another new guy this saturday, or skip that and go out with the ex. but the thing is that the ex havent replied her invitationn yet. thats a whole lot of confusion. pity her, not. haha.

thats partially the story of a girl.

p.s. - playlist addictions. songs > anarbor - where the wild things are.
ashlee simpson - (lots of her songs)
the academy is...- song about a girl
katy perry - self inflicted
katy perry - waking up in vegas
(and some others)


xoxo. its always a clandestine.

clownfish is evil. clownfish is evil. clownfish is evil. clownfish is evil. clownfish is evil. clownfish is evil. clownfish is evil. clownfish is evil. clownfish is evil. clownfish is evil. clownfish is evil. clownfish is evil. clownfish is evil. clownfish is evil. clownfish is evil. clownfish is evil.

wait.. thats enough..
hmmm..

anyway.. i found my favourite cake =) (sort of.. =X)
it's summer garden's cheesecake.. YUM..

(playing "hey jude-the beatles} [i must b crazy to b interested in this song but its absolutely addictive!..today, well actually yesterday, clownfish, he.. texted me! (gawsshh i shudnt b that excited) anyways his dumb excuse, not saying i dont believe, for his day longs reply is due to insufficient phone credits. *rolls eyes. i asked him to get me a few cds, hope he'll get 'em for me, but i seriously doubt that he'll get it, i know it. i like the new singer marie digby!.. she rocks!.. she has good lyrics.. super meaningful ones.. i think i'm going to fail my maths. dang..! i really really hope i get pass maths!.. it's one of my greatest failure in studies. i just can't seem to understand maths. nevermind the history, it's so boring.. hmmm.. i don't mean to say that i'm all over sane, but why are some people so weird, think that they're right even though they're wrong, it just looks so stupid. yikes!.. all i wanna do now is most probably to get through with my studies and hopefully leave this disgusting place..

p.s. - for the record, i'm confused?

hmmm.. stupid arshhholishtic clownfish. just say "i dun wanna b frens with u anymore" is waayy better than ignorance and surprises outta a sudden then ignorance.. damn..damn..damned.

p.s.- nothing.

hmm.. i hate clownfish.

he only calls me when he's bored shitless,
but for i who's dumb i couldn't care less,
and he ignores and disappears when he's with her,
but in my reality there's way no other,
i doesn't understand the puzzle he's making,
and all the non-advantages he's taking,
is he having his revengeance for last summer,
when i was having all the sweet times shimmer,
now he's leaving me hopeless and mindless,
lying on this cement ground useless,
i can't forget and i can't cry,
all i have is thoughts and how i try,
and the lies and bullshit he said,
and bits of the phonebills he had paid,
that's all he had ever sacrificed,
to prevent him self from getting bored,
this is all i have to say,
and miseries i have to pay.

p.s. - it explains all.

i'm a korean drama junkie!.. so addicted to "princess hours". kills time, and entertaining. hmm.. i don't think i shud contact clownfish so frequent.. it makes me umm.. i cant bliv im sayin this, but,.. like him again??.. gawsshh!... hmph!.. this kinda feelings suck!.. he's with or whtver something wit "cantonese buns" anyway!.. hmph!.. hw stupid of me, if this continues, i'll be the one who'll get hurt!!.. i shudn't do this.. ish!.. but it's like, i can't stop now.. hmmm.. but.. why does he contacts a "fat-ass bitch" like me all of a suddenn.. he's weird!! he wans his revengeance bcos i broke up wit him??.. that's so evil!!!.. hmmph!... next, shit!!.. stupid jerk, brainless lamer, stupid ass, faggot, asked me out on saturday, noooooo~~ and... and.. wht shud i do man!>.<" plus it's qbay! i was gonna go there wit henry and mayb sha & lene!.. ohhh maaaannnnn... ! *sighss.. my life is complicated!!.. hmmm... my alter ego, = elizabeth bennet. im writing a story bout me from 2006. with slight editionss.. this is one reason i cant let clownfish read, when he requested the other day, cos most of it, it's about hiim.. danng!!.. why am i so stuck! stuck on him?!! yikes!.. stupid clowfish!! stupid stupid clowfish!!..
p.s. - hmmmmm.. complicating complications of my complicated life.

*sighs. that clownfish. that stupid stupid clownfish. ish!.. why did he not text me today hmmm?.. is it because i was so into the "revengeance" that probably he wouldn't wanna help me with it, =/ or maybe it's about that stupid "roti in cantonese".hmmm.. i'll jz hav to get over him either ways.. it's been almost a yr ='( but it's unchangeable . and i hate that..

p.s. - at least "shitbrains" called =/ but that doesn't rilly helped, i made up an excuse to hang up though.. sighh.. stupid clownfish, i jz couldn't gt ovr!! ='(

friends~~! oh yeah. contented bout that. i so like it this way. =)
gonna kill that mothafcka anytime now!.. disgusting!..urghhh!

*yawns. it's exactly 1 am. dang!.. feeling moody, explanation nt needed =(
stupid stupid last summers!.. =[ gawddd..

=[ I MAKE HORRIFYING cupcakes!!.. and i hate it, and i'll try to make better ones!

NO!!!........... =( I forgot to go gurney~ Shyt!.. >.<
Anyway.. I think by now, i fcking trust horoscopes, they are so spookily true!~
AAWWWW.. something's spinning around my mind~~ =(
it's such a clandestine!!.. damn..
hint : gives the mr neoh's kl trip more of a meaning.. lalalala~~ (skip subject)
i can't believe this is happening to me!! (subject unchanged) -.-
oh well!.. whatever. i'm such an idiot!!.. weirdo freak!!.. >.<''
shit!.. damn!!.. oh gawdd!!...

Gawdd. Worst day ever.Morning, nothing special. As usual Mr. Zayzan insulted me. Ok. Then lunch. Mr. last summer came, for i dont know what reason, and i was caught up in an embarassing act (choking on chocolate wafers). gawsh. Then i took an afternoon nap when i got home, but when i woke up, i got migranes. Like seriously, serious migranes. i cant stand any longer, but i could try getting a good sleep. fuck'ed up day!!.. gawsshhhh...

Hm. I didn't go to school today, for too darn simple reason, i was SICK. As in really. Sorethroat, super hate it. Hm. Sucks.

Played & spectated in counterstrike source, last night, until 4.30 am. It was pretty much bearable, wasn't sleepy at all, but woke up at 7am later for school, and that's really horrible. Felt headaches and moody the whole day, pretty much. Had tug-o-war at 2pm after lunch, equaivalent to free lessons til 3.30pm. Dignity or ignorance? Or both? Or arrogance?.. =\ That despised lad, to describe.. hmm, arrogant??.. Or is it me who's maintaining my dignity? Couldn't care less, I am who I am, and certainly, I wouldn't change for someone who ain't worth no care. Amazingly I wasn't annoyed much by the class or so, but still get this icky fuggly moody feeling. I seriously hate this sentence, overused by my mates, "Hey, you straightened your hair??". Well definitely not! But I'd like them to think what they want to think because the reality, it's hair rebonding, and for them, needless to know. 3.30pm, was patiently or perhaps not so patiently waiting for my transport, and suddenly I saw my RIVAL! Or more like, she think's I'm her rival or sowhatever, ain't worth worrying bout that, cause I don't giv a 'FISHING DAM SHEET" about it. Moreover, I'd more likely to tell her one day, " What's wrong with you?? You're exactly like a total f'ed up retard, trying to be dramatic aye? but you're not! you're overreacting and so immature!!.. What has gotten in to you??". Skip that topic, talking bout that bitch with her "STARE! STARE!" eyes, just make me wanna puke!.. Anyway, after dinner, I got online and you might have just guessed it, "the so last summer" lad was online. And strangely, we talked bout ass/butts! Weird. And there he goes with the runaway reply at the end "BRB". And needless to say, there was no "back". Totally lame. Whatever. Pft!.. *rolls eyes. If I could go one thing if this was all fiction, I'd really like to end the fictitious story with, "So at the end, the girl (me) flush down guy (mr so last summer) into the toilet drains! (uhh.. of no return?)"

Woke up early this morning. Went for tuition without being late. Paid fees. After tuition, came home, watched movie, " The Water Horse ". Quite interesting indeed. Evening later. Log on to my MSN. Guess what? The really strange/weird lad was online and he chatted with me. How awkward but only for a while. Apart from that, since few weeks ago of exchanging comments, the dumb fuckwit never replied!!.. That's extremely exasperating!.. I mean, i dont know. Whatever.

Another Saturday. Went to MBS Gathering '08. Urghh!~ Totally sucks. Woke up at 7 something and reached there on time. Raymond scolded me for not wearing a belt! What the fish?!.. ANYWAY, it's so bored over there, and the music is so LOUD!.. So it was here that was frustrating me. Hmm.. This goes, Vian asked me to drop her back on the way. I PROMISED her because it was convenient, but came along the 3 brothers. They requested me to drop them in Gurney. Well you see.. I just say yes, cause I thought the car would've enough slots, more over I didn't have any EXCUSES on my mind!!.. Darn! Then I guessed Vian thought that it would be too stuffy in the car, so she called up her parents!.. I think she was quite upset 'bout it!.. GOD!!.. I feel so BAD!!!.. Urgh!~ Today sucked. 2 words to describe.

P.S. - I seriously don't know why some people are DESPERATES. & some are so UNPREDICTABLE. Am i talking about the same person's personality?.. Maybe. Gosh!!.. GET OUTTA MA HEAD MAN FRIGGIN' LOSER!! IT'S BEEN about 9 friggin' months, dude!!!.. HOW COULD THIS POSSIBLY STILL HAUNT ME!! obssesion? so NOT. =\

ADDICTED___ to skyesweetnam's - scary love. =\
woke up at 5pm.sucks. no one's at home. weird.
war museum, 2 days ago was somewhat freaky..
shall nt ever ever intend to go there again.
sejarah folio ; like whatever..

I had tuition this morning. And Mr. Victor taught me all 'bout this weird thing called "circlic..something..." I HATE maths!!...After tuition I went home & watched tv. The show was so boring the I apparently fell asleep. When I woke up my eyes were so puffy!!.. Gosh!.. I hope it'll be okay the next morning. Oh & wahahaha.. I'll be distributing cupcakes tomorrow. =D Baked like.. A LOT!..

Met up with Adelene & Khoon. In Coffee Beans Island Plaza. Went to Metrojaya for fun. Then we got a few stuff in Cold Storage. We actually stayed there for like 3 hrs!!.. Unbelievable but true. Then at my house Khoon was dreaming 'bout Shan XD hahaha. Lene & me made cupcakes. Frosted & packed. We force everyone to eat it haha. She went back at about 10pm. The next morning I woke up b4 the alarm rang. I left my cell phone next to my mom while she's sleeping & it's been waking her up numerous times. Oops!.. Having tuition later but just don't know the time.. Hmmm..

Late for school. I couldnt wake up. Got up at like 9am?.. haha.. Dom and Khoon may be coming over my house on Saturday =) Oh ya! In school, Shan & Khoon kissed passionately and got into Omar's office! >.<'' Then at scouts, we did station games. I kind of have to say it sucked. Hates the fact that the form 4 Emily Khong has her Emily name! That fuckwit!!.. I always get mixed up with like I thought it was me sir was calling!.. Anyway that despised fellow replied me today. Hmm.. Obviously making ugly excuses & whatsoever. But guess what? The conversation lasted only for a while. Woohoo!!.. Now Dom coyed Jane Kwan the fuckwit in Friendster. Serves her right. Surprisingly the number of friends continuously accumulates!.. Had Domino's pizza for dinner. And then I played Colbie Calliat's album for hours!.. Must've been insane! Been thinking a lot lately & I think I'm messed & confused! About some stuff. I had no tuition today, was postponed cause Hawyang went for shuffling (dance) lessons, practice or some sort. So it means I'll be having it on Tuesday. *sighs. Oh well, I guess this is it for today =)

Was late for school today. It was all really boring 'til the last lessons of Interact Club. We had really weird station games! Swallowing green miniature chillis was one of the worst!.. Adelene got her tongue numb! Felicia weren't there cause she's 'A BOWLING PRO', so she went for training. It was really uncool for the winning logo! It sucked to the core!.. I can't believe Sue created such simple stuff, i thought she was creative! Adelene & I wanted to vote for Vivian, but was afraid that it might hurt Sue's feelings so we voted for neither Sue or Vivian, but Sue still win!.. Vivian's logo was pretty much more creative & absolutely adorable!.. I don't wish for Shan or Donovan to come over to my house on Saturday!! They weren't even invited!.. ARGH.. It was only Loong Khoon, Lene & Sha who was officially invited. I'll fix it with a plan! Gawd.. I just charged & on my Nokia. Suprisingly, that despised lad sent me a msg a week ago, needless to reply. And then after a while, he sent me another one, today after the phone was charged. I texted back with my Samsung, but he didn't reply, so why bother?.. Anyway he's like, EWW... !! I think I'll be doing strawberry & cream cupcakes this Saturday , wonder what would Adelene bake, anyway I'm challenging with her. I viewed someone's blog today, and "they" seemed pretty cute, the way it was written there =). I so can't believe it's been 9 months plus!! Oh my gosh. =D. By the way, my favourite quote of the month is. Learn it! Live it! Love it! =)