Dreaming / Fantasizing ?

WARNING - This is fictitious. A fantasy. Something I imagined.

Sometimes i imagine myself as an author, absurd isn't it? Well, it's just imaginations. Or perhaps an illustrator, that's something to do with illustrations right, as in like drawings, probably comics, and stuff like that. And well living in a NYC apartment, Lower East Side. Yes, Lower East Side, where they have music, art and other things that collides. Well, as my imagination flows, let's just say, I don't have much inspirations, and Tompkins Park (I hope the spellings are correct), the place where skateboarders do their thing, well and I go there, almost everyday, to gain some inspirations. They will have their boards with scratches, or girl friends, hanging out with their friends at the corner, on the bench. Back to the apartment thing, well, mine is just the average type, an average sized studio, where I have things scattered everywhere, most likely, and clothes on the bed, a big bed with white sheets, and lots of pillows in different sizes. White walls, and dark chesnut brown, wood floorings. It has this pretty chandelier in the middle of the room, it's not like those big ones, just quite average, but not too much crystals and all that, a bit rosy in color, and clear crystals, just a couple of them, and gold surrounding it, and you know, not to cliche, but pretty victorian in a way. In the studio, there is two beds, one is like a mini one, not that mini but you know, single bed kind of thing. It has grey sheets, a very big and puffy white pillow with peachy pink laces. The bed is by the a very big window. Like those big ones you see in the typical manhattan buildings, apartments. The bed is not entirely attached to the side wall, in between the bed and the wall, there is a wooden block, something like a table, but not really, though it has big drawers. It doesn't cover the window, just right at the bottom of the window, i mean the height of the wooden block. So that's almost all i have to say about my studio, room, or whatever you call it, it's not like my art or working studio, it's more like a place I stay in, you know like, sleep and stuff, but of course i do my art works and all that there too, because I'm not a successful or rich person, I don't own an art studio, but I have my little gallery in the upper side, well not too up, but like few blocks away from Times Square. Well, I'm an uninspired, young, 18 year old artist, author, illustrator, whatever, who doesn't know what I'm suppose to do, well, how do i say it, someone who haven't find the right path, the right job, and still searching, and all i know that it's related to art. Why did i ever land myself in NYC you may ask, I was inspired by a few admirable, talented and successful young people, like Alexander Wang, Erin Wasson, Marc Jacobs, and all that. I know that they are fashion designers, but I don't have the confidence to walk that road, to become a fashion designer, because since young, when my older brother insisted that I become one, I still remember that day, before I had time to reply him, my mother interrupted and objected the whole thing, saying that I can never be one, I am not trendy enough, I don't have that kind of potential and all that. I just kept silent and walked away, assuming nothing happen, though in my mind, I was having this weird feeling, thinking, was i suppose to feel furious or depressed? I didn't know and still don't. Back to the NYC thing. My job is partly an artist. I distribute my art in my little gallery, the pieces are quite affordable not more than $300 a piece, and I'm partly a novelist, or author, just whatever, I write these little novels, about crime, psychological thrills, teenage, romance, and something like that. In the morning, I work in a magazine company, not the high positions, a little lower than average i shall say, or even just average, not more. I work from 9am to 4pm. Then I'll go to my little gallery and stay for 2 hours. It's a very small gallery, and I don't need anyone, like any worker to help in the counter. When I'm not there, clients can purchase the pieces, through email or phone, you know like, inform me and stuff, because the walls are all glass, so they could glance through every pieces of art in there clearly because, like I've said, it's a very small gallery. There's alarms attatched too, because glass is fragile, so, it's easy to break in, and to avoid any of these problems, i let the alarms do their thing. As for my books, novels, they are not doing super awesome, just average. It's available in 20 stores in America, 2 stores in Malaysia and 2 in Australia, though there's online purchasing too. Usually they are more of a teenager's liking, compared to adults, or shall i say, middle aged citizens, around the age of 35 and above. Probably I'm just too ambitious, too imaginary, to think of something so over my league. And again, in reality, I'm not even a U.S. citizen, so... I can't possible accomplish much of the above, unless, I study in the States for 4 years, and another 4 years of work, I think that's how it goes, and heck yeah that's a lot of years, a total of 8 years. Minimum, I'll be 26, and that's a bit too old I think. I don't know, back to reality and bye to fantasy. I'm going to stop right now, too much imaginations.

xoxo