I Don't Know

Today.. Kind of made me realize that if you try harder and harder (not in the kinky way though..*laughs*) you can achieve what you want, something like that, i mean if you go the right way, some sort, i give really confusing explanations. Well the thing is.. I wanted to watch the video, of alexander wang and him being the winner of some fashion fund thingy, something like that. I tried a few times, like hours ago, and it couldn't work, i tried again and again just now, and it managed to work, and yeah i got to watch it, it's so cool, i mean, it's like magic, i was about to give up trying to make it work, the video just played, and i was like , awesome!

Oh gawsh, i've to go to the dentist tomorrow.. Damn, it's scary, thrilling, i don't know. But still, i've to go.. I think.. Cause i've got this one little, or not so little i don't know , cavity. I wouldn't wanna lose my tooth, so yeah..though like, honestly and seriously it freaks me out, like those little needles + screws mutated shit , like a whole damn box/collection of them, placed in front of me, and the dentist using it on my pitiful tooth! and like the machines, the thingy, like the scary sounds, oohh.. it just scares me even just to think about it...

About the nyc thing.. i'm really confused, thinking that, me using up all my savings and more, and i don't know.. i really don't wanna give up on it, i mean i've set it as my objective and stuff.. the rental of rooms and stuff is also a problem.. i just don't know, well.. i'll think of it probably next week.. and yeah after my birthday, oh my, it's 4 days away..

I don't know what to do on my birthday.. It's pretty freaky.. I was thinking of movies then dinner at my place, but.. i don't know.. oh well.. probably i should just go to eat japanese food with family? like the traditional, kiddy way? i don't know!!.. =/ anyways nyc is more important than my 15th birthday i guess.. so gotta like think more of nyc rather than birthday celebration..

xoxo & confusions