Misbehaving?

I woke up at around 3pm and i got online. Robbie went for PC fair, so i used his computer, cause it's obviously better than my shitty laptop. (and yes im using it right now.) My friend asked me to go Penang Jazz Festival, and heck yeah I went, I was so looking forward to that before she even asked. I went there, got the tickets, it was like fucking RM53 per ticket. *faints*

*wakes* anyway, I met Jaime there. who else, well i think i saw that friend of mine who i only knew for about 2 weeks, but i'm not really that sure if that's him. i had haagen daz ice cream, macadamia flavour, it was so heavenly, yummy~

& how did i get back from jazz fest? Let's just say my friend fetched me back, had dinner in some place, and got home,now. yes. the end.

xoxo

Love. Love. Love.

Love is stronger than hate but possibly weaker than wealth and fame. Love. Once you're in, it's hard to get out. A drug? It's possible. A good thing? It's also possible. Dangerous & risky? Absolutely.Love. If not expressed, it causes stress. It take guts show someone you love them. Love. With jealousy as a neighbour. Love. Needed always by everyone. Love. Leads a way to harmony and another to sadness. Love. The strongest feeling. Love. Unforgettable. Love. A needed daily dose. Love. Needs to be treasured. Love. Will fade without trust, confident, care, honesty, loyalty, and everything related. Love. Something so serene but could turn dark. Love. Unpredictable and the nicest gift ever. Love. So many definitions, from so many minds. Love. Love. Love.

xoxo

Time Machine Much?

Back in 2004.

(What I missed most) Location - Salzburg & Vienna, Austria.
One of the best vacation ever. On first thought, everyone might have thought, like. . . that's a very, super boring place, so serene and quiet, but spending time with the right people, even at lame places, doing lame stuff, it's awesome, i guess?

2005.

There was nothing I specifically remembered/missed.

2006.

=) private and confidential. Though just a crush.

2007.

=( private and confidential. Though loads of stuff happened.

2008.

Just very normal, quite boring. I guess, as far as I know.

xoxo

Malay Writings...

"Pertamanya, ku nak kau menungguku, tapi mu tidak membuat begitu. Hari ni, ku pertama nampak perempuan tu, kekasihmu. Ku dah biasa rasa begini. Ku lagi rindumu, sikit saja, tapi tentulah rasa ni akan hapus, saja perlu masa sedikit. Mungkin aku dah buat salah, ku ingat mu akan menunggu ku, tapi tu dah lama. Skrang masa dan orang dah tukar, tak perlulah lagi ingat."

P.S. - Just some random things... That came outta my mind today.

xoxo

Just Another Thing

I love Ferrero Rondnoir. It's like Ferrero Rocher but less sweet & more ideal. It tastes better too. It's dark chocolate. & I'm addicted.

xoxo

Anti - Friendster

I canceled my friendster account today. Kinda hate it. & it's filled with 'lalas' and 'tukaos & ah bengs'. Definitely not an ideal virtual social meet up place. & yes I'm using Facebook now. I have lots of insults over 'lalas' and 'male lalas' but just too lazy to type it out.

p.s. - only add who you know & who you want to know. not just because you want to have extra friend counts & compete the so called ' who has more friends' kinda thing.

xoxo

Messed Up Words

Dad says I'm good for nothing,
Mom says I'm immature,
School just ain't my kinda thing,
That's just my unique nature,
I hate to be here,
It's like I'm stuck forever,
No way dear,
Just let it be, NEVER,
I have my objectives,
I ain't giving 'em up,
I might not have any motives,
But I ain't gonna shut up,
People and personality varies,
Music and art I desire,
Read everyone's diaries,
& eventually burn them in fire.

(I reckon the last parts does not have any meanings)

xoxo

What A Day

3rd dec 08. I went to gurney.. spent my whole day there, and had toffee nut frappucino from starbucks and belgian choc from coffee beans, yumm.. Walked around new wing, umm... gossiped. It was boring though, me & my friends managed to stay there for hours!... When I came back home, i had surprise call! It was Sheikh Mohammed Badjenid! My elementary classmate! He difined me as "the shortest in class one!" . *sighs* At least it was better than how he defined Sammy , "4 eyes!". Chatted for a while, he adopted more Malay ish slang. Probably getting an elementary class reunion! Anyways it's needed! It has been long!!... I miss old times in elementary school... =( Everything seemed so simple...

p.s. - I wish dude 97 wouldn't just waste his life having fun. Hah! Whatevers. Just saying. People these days... They have cash, they are at the right age, but they aren't ambitious! WHY! They are losing chances minute by minute... Well... It's not my life, so I'd just shut up, but if it was, I'd do so many things already.

xoxo

RACISM

Don't ever, ever be a racist! I dislike racists... They are just senseless, they don't make any sense. It's about every individual! You can't base hate on what their race is!... There are hot people in every races! There are kind people in every race! And negativity too! Gosh... BUT I have a confession... Most Iraq people are stupid. & THATS FROM EXPERIENCE! NOT JUST A THOUGHT! Racism are base on stupid thoughts & assumptions!!

xoxo

Tuesday . Not Wasted .

Okay... This is gonna sound weird but well.. Ummm.. I didn't sleep the whole night until... 3pm. Anyways rewind a little bit, i took a shower at 8am. I came out in a towel and walked to the living room to get a drink, i mean c'mon no one was awake and dad was out already. But mom came out! And she was like, let's go have breakfast in coffee beans, island plaza. So since i can't actually sleep, i was like okay. Turned out, i get to go shopping after breakfast! Yay. I bought some Rimmel and MAC cosmetics. Rimmel is cheap! & it's nice to use, the best part? It's made is UK! Not China, i'm kinda scared of China products, no saying China is bad or anything, but yeah, the products aren't worth the risk. Sis kinda dragged me to her shop for manicure, so yeah, and I got dark turquoise *wrong spelling i think* . Then she gave me some of her cosmetics! Bright orange & blue ~ So yeah... That's all i think, and i slept at 3pm , waking up at 9pm.

xoxo

Tuesday Morning

(somehow reminds me of michelle branch - tuesday morning *a song*)

i'm still ain't sleepy. that's awkward, but it has been going on for quite something, and waking up at 9pm, it just gets worse and worse doesn't it?... what am i suppose to do? take sleeping pills? or should i just bear with it? but what if i get a job? and i can't wake up? that's just lame.. i don't know what to think of. at least i don't hang on my past and get depressed. but i'm emotionless, is that good, i wonder. well. i'm blank.

song playing - taylor swift - love story *addictive*

xoxo

LOVE

what the fuck does that mean? i thought i knew, well i don't. though i know crushes, flings. but what the fuck is love? whatever that means, i don't know. i know it has four letters. urh.. that's all. probably previous stuff broke my definition of love. so it means... love is not just a thing right? oh yes, it has a million definitions? hmmm. it's obviously complicating.

xoxo

Untitled

I like this song called Afterlife by Avenged Sevenfold. =\ It's just too nice...

xoxo

Fool

The title explains it all.

p.s. - I think i'm gonna get a job! ;) 90% chance. though there's like 10% i might not :(

xoxo

Dreaming / Fantasizing ?

WARNING - This is fictitious. A fantasy. Something I imagined.

Sometimes i imagine myself as an author, absurd isn't it? Well, it's just imaginations. Or perhaps an illustrator, that's something to do with illustrations right, as in like drawings, probably comics, and stuff like that. And well living in a NYC apartment, Lower East Side. Yes, Lower East Side, where they have music, art and other things that collides. Well, as my imagination flows, let's just say, I don't have much inspirations, and Tompkins Park (I hope the spellings are correct), the place where skateboarders do their thing, well and I go there, almost everyday, to gain some inspirations. They will have their boards with scratches, or girl friends, hanging out with their friends at the corner, on the bench. Back to the apartment thing, well, mine is just the average type, an average sized studio, where I have things scattered everywhere, most likely, and clothes on the bed, a big bed with white sheets, and lots of pillows in different sizes. White walls, and dark chesnut brown, wood floorings. It has this pretty chandelier in the middle of the room, it's not like those big ones, just quite average, but not too much crystals and all that, a bit rosy in color, and clear crystals, just a couple of them, and gold surrounding it, and you know, not to cliche, but pretty victorian in a way. In the studio, there is two beds, one is like a mini one, not that mini but you know, single bed kind of thing. It has grey sheets, a very big and puffy white pillow with peachy pink laces. The bed is by the a very big window. Like those big ones you see in the typical manhattan buildings, apartments. The bed is not entirely attached to the side wall, in between the bed and the wall, there is a wooden block, something like a table, but not really, though it has big drawers. It doesn't cover the window, just right at the bottom of the window, i mean the height of the wooden block. So that's almost all i have to say about my studio, room, or whatever you call it, it's not like my art or working studio, it's more like a place I stay in, you know like, sleep and stuff, but of course i do my art works and all that there too, because I'm not a successful or rich person, I don't own an art studio, but I have my little gallery in the upper side, well not too up, but like few blocks away from Times Square. Well, I'm an uninspired, young, 18 year old artist, author, illustrator, whatever, who doesn't know what I'm suppose to do, well, how do i say it, someone who haven't find the right path, the right job, and still searching, and all i know that it's related to art. Why did i ever land myself in NYC you may ask, I was inspired by a few admirable, talented and successful young people, like Alexander Wang, Erin Wasson, Marc Jacobs, and all that. I know that they are fashion designers, but I don't have the confidence to walk that road, to become a fashion designer, because since young, when my older brother insisted that I become one, I still remember that day, before I had time to reply him, my mother interrupted and objected the whole thing, saying that I can never be one, I am not trendy enough, I don't have that kind of potential and all that. I just kept silent and walked away, assuming nothing happen, though in my mind, I was having this weird feeling, thinking, was i suppose to feel furious or depressed? I didn't know and still don't. Back to the NYC thing. My job is partly an artist. I distribute my art in my little gallery, the pieces are quite affordable not more than $300 a piece, and I'm partly a novelist, or author, just whatever, I write these little novels, about crime, psychological thrills, teenage, romance, and something like that. In the morning, I work in a magazine company, not the high positions, a little lower than average i shall say, or even just average, not more. I work from 9am to 4pm. Then I'll go to my little gallery and stay for 2 hours. It's a very small gallery, and I don't need anyone, like any worker to help in the counter. When I'm not there, clients can purchase the pieces, through email or phone, you know like, inform me and stuff, because the walls are all glass, so they could glance through every pieces of art in there clearly because, like I've said, it's a very small gallery. There's alarms attatched too, because glass is fragile, so, it's easy to break in, and to avoid any of these problems, i let the alarms do their thing. As for my books, novels, they are not doing super awesome, just average. It's available in 20 stores in America, 2 stores in Malaysia and 2 in Australia, though there's online purchasing too. Usually they are more of a teenager's liking, compared to adults, or shall i say, middle aged citizens, around the age of 35 and above. Probably I'm just too ambitious, too imaginary, to think of something so over my league. And again, in reality, I'm not even a U.S. citizen, so... I can't possible accomplish much of the above, unless, I study in the States for 4 years, and another 4 years of work, I think that's how it goes, and heck yeah that's a lot of years, a total of 8 years. Minimum, I'll be 26, and that's a bit too old I think. I don't know, back to reality and bye to fantasy. I'm going to stop right now, too much imaginations.

xoxo

December

It's December... Yay?... Whee... *sarcasm* What can I say? I need shoppings? I need my personalised starbuck drink? (caramel machiatto without syrup , extra espresso shot, extra caramel drizzle) Or perhaps I want a new laptop? (macbook 13inch newest) Maybe a new ipod? Well... I don't know... Is it lust? Or is it... Hmmm.... What else can I think of... No idea.. Shopping is a big word though...I mean it relates everything, the desire to buy cosmetics, clothing, shoes, and every other things. Ok honestly, I love vintage tee shirts that looks old? I mean, and those grunge looks, like the acid washed jeans and all that... And yes, a pair of converse... Benefit Cosmetics, ummm.. Bobbi Brown Cosmetics, umm.. what else... Rimmel Cosmetics... Tigi Bedhead hair products? No, I'm not so obsessed over tigi products anymore actually.. Hmmm.. A new school bag perhaps? But the ones in Malaysia are so typical, and i hate too much duplication, i hope i could get like the online store type since there's no way I can go to NY this soon... Australia? Well, mom's definitely want to go, but it's getting bored since we've been there a couple times already... Thailand? I dislike the place... I mean Bangkok's okay, but I don't know, the language? No... Umm.. It's just like the stuck in the between kinda place, not modern enough, not city like, and not too laid back, so I kinda hate these place... Japan? Dad was considering, but I guess, we all didn't bring up the topic again, so he assume we didn't wanna go or something like that... Hmmm.. What else.. Well.. I want a job... And cash, definitely...But before you get the cash, you need a job, so yeah i want a job... (My options are... Ingolf something something *german restaurant*, and... Starbucks *but they want full timers only, shit*, umm.. BBQ Chicken *gurney, working in gurney is uncool, cause it's 85% chance of meeting friends, friends and work don't match...* , what other options.. hmmm.. nevermind, i'll just check on more vacancies... hopefully i get a good one..*

Christmas is coming, who should I exchange/give presents with/to? Still thinking about that... Probably some of my friends, and hmmm.. sis? But, when it comes to my sis, i gotta pick something more pricy, which is pretty complicating... Anyways in case she wanna exchange pressies, then i'll think about it...

xoxo